Large luggage with wheels is one of the best inventions in the world. When I moved from Canada to England, I made sure I bought me one of them fancy bags with the four wheels instead of just two back ones. I could not have functioned without the capability of pushing the bag alongside me when navigating my way through my new city. I should mention that bag was triple my own weight at the time. If I would have had to carry that bag or drag it on two wheels behind me, I probably would have got off the plane and just laid down and died right in the baggage claim.
Now that being said, small bags with wheels are THE world's most stupid invention. I know I have mentioned this in a similarly hateful post about three years ago but I had another entanglement with my old friend yesterday.
First, what could you be carrying that is both so small and yet so heavy in that tiny little bag? Are you carting around bricks or smuggling monkeys into the country? If it is neither of these items, perhaps you should do a few press ups and free weights, then carry the bag like a grown human. You aren't trendy. You aren't more ergonomically correct than me. You look a fool that you can't pick up that little bag. It's the same rage I get when I see a 6 year old in a stroller. Surely their legs work, give them a little walk around. Neither toddlers nor small luggage should be wheeled around like you are an MVP bellhop.
Second, the design of a small wheelie bag is purely for murderous intent. A large bag with wheels is visible to even the weakest of eyes. It's like walking beside another person. A small bag with wheels is equivalent to the old primary school trick of having your friend crouch behind someone you don't like, then pushing them backward so they stumble over your accomplice. I am the first to admit I don't have the BEST eyesight. In fact, I have almost no sight but I feel this is irrelevant to my case as I have witnessed on a daily occasion - that's right daily - people involved in the same altercation as myself.
The puller of a small wheelie bag always let's their arm go slack from how heavy the drag of the bag is behind them. This means that the bag is now not anywhere near their person, but a full arms length plus a handle length behind them. The handle that drags the bag is also always designed to be this extreme exaggeration of what is actually needed to pull a bag. Why does it have to be metre long? Surely that works AGAINST the puller in making it easier to drag. Now you have a small, not clearly visible bag being dragged nearly two chevrons behind the carrier, where you would not expect luggage to be twisting around in front of you.
If you are also a normal human, you walk with your head up, scanning for human-sized things. So when you see a person with a slack hand and no immediate bag, you think the coast is clear. This is when the stumbles occur. I have never seen or been involved in a graceful wheelie bag stumble. It is always: slow, awkward, unbalanced, humiliating, and resulting in rage. Th humiliation usually comes form the fact that the person goes down. Not hard mind you, it's not a smash over but instead a tediously slow realisation you won't be able to recover your balance and therefore resign yourself to putting your hands out either on top of the small luggage or on the ground but most certainly you are keeled over.
Once the person rights themselves, they are met with the single most infuriating look ever. The look from the holder of, "can't you watch where you're going?" I am actually surprised there are not more deaths on public transport since the invention of these bags. The look of the holder is always pure disgust and never apologetic, and they are almost smug like they are happy stupid people like you trip over their bag so that one day they'll learn to look a little more carefully two chevrons behind each person in the world. I just don't understand this, because certainly these people have either been in a similar tripping situation or they have witnessed one where they completely side with "the tripped." It is like that old paradigm where if you are driving a car waiting for someone to cross the road, you immediately think, "can't they just f*cking hurry it up?! What's taking them so long??" However, when you yourself are crossing a road and you feel like a car is rushing you, you think, "I'll take my bloody time thank you, you can f*cking wait. What's so important that you can't wait 5 seconds for me to safely cross the road??"
I'm sure one day my body will become old and frail and the usage of a small wheelie bag will be necessary for me. I am also sure that when that time comes, I will become of a carrier rather than a tripped mentality but until then, I wish all carriers a swift tripping off the platform along with their little bags too.
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