I'm on my way

Today I make the big flight by myself to London, England.
Things I am looking forward to:
- reading a book and relaxing on the plane
- having some time alone
- feeling like an accomplished human being, compared to the sloth I have been for the past month
-watching movies on the plane
-sitting in a window seat to see the sky, etc... also prime head positioning for slumbers.

Things I am not looking forward to:
- sitting beside a sweaty/smelly person (potential)
- navigating my way through the London airport alone
- sitting in a window seat (bathroom usage is a minimum...peeing in my carry-on is definite)
- Not having internet/phone when I land, so if I am approached by bandits, I will have to fend them off myself.

My mom has of course given me detailed advice to survive during these times:
- say excuse me to those I sit beside when having to go to the bathroom on the plane...obv.
- don't tell strangers I am a tourist
- ask for help when I can
- don't leave bags unattended
-print out maps/train scheds, etc.

What my mom couldn't have told me but Criminal Minds luckily stepped in for her:
- don't help small children who claim they are lost...their father is waiting in a van outside to kill you
- don't help the handi-capable get into a van/lift their wheelchair into a van...they will push you into their vehicle, paralyze you, then dress you as a doll until they kill you
- don't go with someone who has a "record deal" for you...they will record you singing then kill you
- don't dye my hair blonde...someone will abduct me, kill me, and dump me in a river
- don't go for a jog...a group of cult followers will kidnap me, force me to be a part of their ritual, then keep my skull as a trophy
- don't go into the woods...death
- don't go onto a subway...murder
- don't answer the door to your apartment ... killers

Thanks Criminal Minds. I might just stay home now. Oh well, off I go. If you don't hear from me in a few days, send in the dogs or stay tuned to Criminal Minds, Wednesdays at 9pm on CTV.