The Key Incident

So The Viking and I got back together after the last post and had a wonderful Christmas together.


Then we broke up again a few days later...for good. Crushing.

I thought I had been coping alright (the usual black hole of sadness) until The Key Incident happened.

I met a friend to cheer me up after the break up and an illness. I knew that I would be returning to an empty, soul-sucking flat and already the anxiety was hitting next level when I reached my front door.

I put the key to the lock.
The key wouldn't go in.

I tried again, being more delicate.
The key wouldn't even wiggle in slightly.

I rammed the key in the lock.
I hurt my hand with the force.
The key refused to turn.
I wiggled the key.
I tried to ever so slightly pull the key out.
I twisted until I thought it would snap.
I cheered on the key to help it feel empowered to open the lock.

I cried.
And cried.
And cried.

I slid to the floor with my fists balled up against the door. I wailed at the key and begged and berated it to turn. Stupid, selfish fucking key! You always do this to me. You always leave me out here alone. Why won't you just be better you fucking key!

I sobbed into my coat until I had dry gasps.

Finally after much commotion and emotional turmoil, I slid the key out of the lock, straight back in, and turned it.

It opened.

I fell into my flat and laid face down in the hallway until I could muster up the strength to close the door and feel complete self-pity that I can't even open a door right.

But all-in-all I think I am coping quite well, thanks.