New Meaning of Limp Wrist

This is not to be offensive at all, but just as some terms need reclaiming...I'm cracking this one out. I was trying to describe what happens to me at work and could not manage to give an accurate depiction without using the two words "limp" and "wrist" together at once. Some of you may be familiar with this ridiculous urban dictionary descriptor, however today I am using limp wrist or I use "limp-wristing" to describe what a child does when not wanting to join an activity.

Some of you know I started a new job last Monday. It was an end of a era for me, but am excited about a new beginning. Now I am working with very young children, and often times, they do not want to do things they have to do.

For safety reasons, children have to come inside/outside once in a while, or join carpet activities and cannot be left unsupervised. Some children decline. Not even politely.

I bring out all my bag of tricks to bend them to my will. Often times it reminds me of trying to get Freckles (the world's worst trained but best furry friend) back inside after escaping out the front door to the park across the street. "Come on cutie! Come on! Do you want a treat? How about you chase me back? Come catch me! No? Ok..." In a voice that is often high-pitched enough to break glass. After running through a course of teacher tricks to curve behaviour, you inevitable make that ONE wrong step in their direction, which brings about a resulting reaction what I call the "chase instinct." Again, like puppies, suddenly they crouch down with their bottom waging, ready to bolt in either direction, because of course you are only playing and WANT to chase them around the playground. I draw the line at running. If I run, I am chasing, if I walk around a tree to catch, I am collecting - see the difference? They don't either.

Minutes pass and I pull out another trick, distraction. "Look at that beautiful flower, come with me to water it" *hand snag. For children deemed as "runners" I have admittedly even used the "oohhh ouch! Miss Thomas twisted her ankle and needs help to come inside. Will you help me get ice on my foot and be a helper?" *limping inside with children "supporting" me to get to a chair and thus where I actually want them.

However their is the odd time when children then perform what I now have coined as limp-wristing. It is the act of holding a child's hand to guide them to the desired location, and their body becomes limp at the wrist. This inevitably ends up with you thrown off balance, trying to recover, all while attempting to make your actions look completely safe and kind. Limp-wristing occurs with even the softest touch of a hand and they make the dropping as dramatic as possible. It is like you are holding spaghetti that had some ends sticking out of the pot. Their body is noodle-ish, but their hand is still holding you like Jack from the Titanic.

Limp-wristing, I believe, is the most difficult thing a teacher will have to face during the day. Forget lessons, physical activity, singing, or crying. Once limp-wristed, you are in impossible territory. No efficient method has been decided yet, as we would never lift a child in school, where a limp-body is irrelevant when it is entirely elevated. So it is somewhat of the child's ultimate trump card. They know they will be joining you in the next activity...exactly when they want to.

Well done children, you have defeated me for now.