Glass Act

Since nearly the beginning of time, I've worn glasses. It's such a part of my identity that I can't even remember a time when I didn't wear them. I do however, remember the day I tried on my first pair.

Me, being oh so cool and stubborn, forced my mum to buy me a Super Mario glasses case and pink tortoise shell glasses. Probably the worst combo ever. Much of my childhood was spent with poor fashion choices, either by my own fault or my mother's (no judgement Mum, we were learning together). There was the time I decided to have a fringe that took up most of my face, or the time I wore a giant baby soother around my neck for "style" and I'll never forget my various "Spice Girl outfits" that I hocked from Bootlegger - huge mistakes.

These poor choices, accompanied by hideous face accessories made me go through about a ten year awkward phase. When people hear I never had acne, they usually envy me...until I show them any photo between the ages 9-15. I embrace it now though, sitting atop my jewelled 26 year-old diva chair. The struggle just helped me form this incredible personality to fit inside my now well-formed external along with a healthy dose of modesty.

Anyway, back to the glasses. I can clearly remember the next day going to school and sharing my update with the class for morning routine, pumping up the fact that in a week's time I would be getting THE coolest glasses ever. They were not. And they continued to not be until I turned 15 (a series of poor choices as my prescription increased - trading in pink tortoise shell for thin wire-rimmed square scary spice glasses) and got contact lenses. A whole new world opened up to me that day. The day my eyes and most of my face was liberated from ugly. It was a momentous shift, as I also decided on the exact same day that I would no longer rock my greasy split bangs, but would tie my hair back exposing my entire face. It was the first time in years that skin above my nose felt the warmth of the direct sun. It was a great day.

Now, I only wear glasses for about two hours a day total. Maybe an hour and a half before bed and 30 minutes when I wake up. I enjoy the style of my glasses, however my prescription is so strong that no matter which frame I select, you will almost always see the thick magnifying glass poking out from behind them. Yesterday, however was doomsday. My eyes were sore from not getting enough sleep the night before so I had to wear glasses to work. Which again, was like wearing glasses to school as a kid. In fact, it was glasses to school, period.

All of the children stared at me like I was the Phantom of the Opera, removing my white mask revealing a hideously deformed burn face. They literally stopped dead in their tracks with wide-open mouths. I don't know what it is about glasses, but when a non-wearer puts them on, it's like the face morphs into another, completely unrecognisable human. I don't understand it. They are literally transparent...you can see my eyes through them. Why is it so throwing? After the kids got used to it (3 hours of giggles) they finally started to let the compliments flow (what I live for).

The best was a five year old boy saying in front of everyone "you look cute with your glasses on." I nearly blushed.

Sometimes you carry an insecurity around with you your entire life, until you are in front of wee ones. They will either make you laugh at it by pointing it out directly, or they will make you see it in a way you never have before. For me, I became cute and I can handle that. Next stop, rocking the bush bangs to school. See what past emotional scars I can heal then. But for now, it's back to contacts, not just because I have conquered my previous fear, but because my glasses' prescription is about four weaker than my contacts and I was bumping into things. Healing time's over, practicality rules.

Things I Never Want to See People Do In Public…or Ever.

I realise that many of my blog posts take on the format of a list, so I will be trying to revisit my grade six education and rock the persuasive letter.

Dear Strangers,

I am writing you in an attempt to dissuade you from continuing the following behaviours in public, semi-public, or even in the privacy of your own homes. It is my aim for you to fully comprehend the level of disgust I reach when witnessing these behaviours which in turn will impact your actions.

The following are non-negotiable actions; nose-picking/blowing, eating on public transport, and couples arguing. Actions up for debate and consultation; sneezing, loud open-mouth coughing, and groups of teenagers.

As we are in the midst of cold season, several times in the past week I have had to bear witness to even the politest of strangers, blow their nose on the train. A tissue is not a shield. In fact, it is thinner than paper. The act of "blowing" with a tissue actually draws my eye much as a cape would to a bull. I am also finding that said blowing, is usually followed by a "pick-to-clear-out" act. We all see you. None of us want to. Please politely sniffle silently until you can remove yourself from the group. Nose picking is similar to nose blowing, however there is not even the false pretense of a shield. I recommend we cull these individuals, as clearly they have not been successfully integrated into society and it is likely they never will be rehabilitated. 

We all know we have to eat. However, when people feel compelled to do this on a jostling locomotive, others can be put off. Further, if the food has an odour in an area where there should not be, a rage begins to brew. Food is completely necessary, but only in contexts which have been deemed socially acceptable. Early morning train journeys are one such example of an unacceptable context. Please keep your odours and food splashes away from the rest of us.

Next, in pairs, arguing is inevitable. Becoming upset with someone over something in public is also very likely. What people  therefore see as the completely acceptable "public argument" is not. We all already hate you because you have found someone who has chosen to spend their life or some future, with you. Let's not make it worse by biting the hand that feeds you. It's similar to eating a feast in front of someone starving then sending the food away because it's overcooked. Also, I am unsure if you know this, but no matter who is in the right, no one looks like a good person when fighting in public. In fact, you both look like spiteful individuals. Mob mentality therefore sparks, and the evil inside us all just wants to egg you on until a punch is thrown. You might even hear a faceless stranger from the back of the crowd pipe up, "are you going to let him talk to you like that?" A commonly known statistic that I am sure you are aware of is, "arguments in public are escalated 1000% more times than that of those instigated and resolved at home." It's basic math and also common sense.

Now these are just a few issues that cannot be contested, so please refrain from doing them immediately. The following are issues that you may want to contact me about for future discussion. I doubt you'll gain any footing, but god speed.

98% of the time, people are ugly when sneezing. All sneezes can be minimised through a simple pinching of the nose. It seems like an obvious answer. 

Did you know coughing is contagious? I read an article about "germs" the other day and it was mind-blowing. Apparently, these invisible things can fly from your mouth into the air and be breathed in by others around you. I have found in my own personal experience that the louder and more aggressive the cough, the more ill you actually are. It is still up for debate, and I am willing to hear your opinions on why we should not be covering our loud coughs in public but again, seems hard to contest. 

Finally, groups of teenagers should not be allowed to congregate. This is up for discussion as I know peer groups are very important to youth to keep them from drugs, alcohol and bad choices, however I am still just not sure. Sometimes it is hard for me to digest two teens speaking around me about their non-issues, let allow 4+ running riot on my train to work. The more of them there are in an area, the louder and ruder they seem to become. Let me know your thoughts.

In conclusion, a rare combination of science, statistics, and social facts has been presented in this letter in hopes that you have a revelation in your lifestyle. I am certain I have myself once been a perpetrator, however when presented with similar facts at the fresh age of seven by my family, I was able to make a change for the better. Let's all make the world a better place through small changes.

Regards,

Katie Fraser-Thomas
Concerned Citizen

Juice Master

About three weeks ago, I started the Juice Master Diet Cleanse. It is a complete juice detox that lasted seven days. To all you that say this isn't healthy…shut up. Let me also say that if you knew what I had been eating leading up to this detox, you wouldn't think it's nearly as bad.

In the book it suggests that you might feel some side effects in the first few days of the cleanse i.e. headaches, stomachaches, or crying in the shower. The biggest mini struggle I had to deal with is cravings. You have no idea how many different kinds of restaurants and foods you smell during a day while walking around, until you are starving.

At school, we have to eat with the children in the dinner hall. When juicing, this is the ultimate test. I know that Jesus faced some hard times in the desert, but I would take those 40 days with a serpent over watching a fussy eater pick at their fish and chips. Several shouts of "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EAT THAT?!?" could probably have been heard down the hall. The kids did find my juicing quite amusing as I had a strict schedule of when I had to choke down these life sustainers. Once, a particularly nasty one made me gag and do a full body quiver when I was leading a shared writing table. The children then asked to all have a sniff of what I was drinking. After about the sixth child, I thought, maybe this isn't such a good idea. They are breathing all their little kiddie germs straight into the toxic brew I need to swallow to stay alive.

Well after a week, I made it and had shed several pounds as well. I do recommend it to anyone as it was the best I had felt in a long time and you are guaranteed results after only 7 days. The best part is it is a lifestyle changer if you want it to be, so I have been able to maintain and continue to trim down even after coming off the strict cleanse. If you want to jumpstart a diet or a life change, look into Jason Vale, his books will degrade you just enough to get you motivated but not as much to make you want to eat your feelings.

Loved and Lost

I wanted to write a new post today about something that happened then I realised I hadn't written since August and I feel there is something I need to touch on before I can continue writing.

In April I moved in with the three greatest guys I have met in a long time...possibly ever. I consider myself extremely lucky to have been part of such a loving, dynamic and unique house. When I moved in, I was in a difficult place in my life and through their acceptance and humour, I made it through.

Now the time in the house has ended - visas changed, people moved away - but I am so grateful to them for bringing me back to life. The last six months have been some of the most important in my adult life. To them, it was probably just life as usual but to me, everything had changed.

I felt it was wrong to skip through that time to the next chapter before addressing my gratitude. I will probably never be that lucky again with flatmates again but I am so appreciative to have ever experienced it at all.

Love you 278 boys and seeeeyyyaaaahhhhh!
x

Getting Lost

Lexy lives in Pan's Labyrinth. I have never seen a more confusing layout for buildings that all look exactly the same and have nearly the same name.

Exhibit A:

So Lexy met me at the bus stop and escorted me back to her place. Whenever someone is leading me somewhere it is like I am a fresh-born kitten; eyes are closed to the world. Why don't I look around? Why don't I read a street sign??? I digress.

Anyhoo, I dropped my bag off at her place and lingered for about two seconds before she suggested I make a trip to the coast to see Howth. Lexy had a paper due in the next few days so we looked up on google maps how to walk to the train station so I could set off on the journey alone. I got a little lost on my way out, walking too far left and having to walk another 30 minutes to get back on track (using all my international mobile data up) but I made it in one piece.

Howth was lush. It was scenic, fun, lively and refreshing. You can walk along the piers and take in local fishermen bringing in their catches. I trundled around for a few solid hours before missioning back  to Lexy's. When I got off the train, I realised that I didn't reeeealllly know where I was going as I got lost on my way to the train in the first place. I also had 4% battery coming off of the train - not ideal.

Exhibit B:

I nearly made it too. I practically ran down Avoca Avenue so I could make it back to find out exactly where Lex lived. Then, the phone died. Again, why didn't I just have my eyes open when she walked me to hers earlier. Things would have been a lot simpler if I just happened to glance around once during my first arrival. Luckily she left me a text with one detail burned into my brain...apartment 5. I don't know if you've lived anywhere with anyone but a number alone is not enough information to get you to a destination. Five wasn't really cutting it for me. Also, if you were to stumble across the Linden Housing, you would quickly notice that each pocket of housing (all beginning with Linden of course), has subsections of house numbers - Linden Grove 1, Linden Grove 2, etc which then further go on to have apartments within those house. After a rough calculation, I discovered there were over 20 apartment 5s in the area. 

Like a creeper, I stalked through the area, looking in windows and whispering Lexy's name. I rang one number 5 and panicked when it rang 3 times so I scampered away. People had also begun to notice my eery presence as I was lurking pretty hard in some areas. One man full out stopped to double take what I was doing, so I quickly pulled out my dead phone and pretended to be texting someone and laughing at something I read...

I needed a plan and fast as the daylight hours were burning away. My only option was to sit in the middle of the cul-de-sac at the entrance of the housing area, in hopes Lex might stumble across me in the next few days. It wasn't REALLY that solid of a plan, but it was the best I could do. This is also about the time I realised I had gone all day consuming liquids and not releasing any. This sent me into a bit of a panic as I thought I would never be able to use a toilet again (as you do) and began to scout out bushes I could potentially utilise. 

After about 20 minutes, I heard from a window my name shouted in a shocked, echoey way "KATIE?" Yup, by chance, she looked out of her bedroom window, saw my stripey shirt and was astonished I was just lingering. What is more miraculous is that I found out later, Lex didn't even have her glasses on, so she just recognised the outfit and that's why she called out my name questioningly. 

Anyway, I ventured to her place and nearly hopped up and down from excitement.

I'm glad my friends think on the same wavelength as me and know the foolishness I am capable of. Had it been an acquaintance, I fear I would be squatting in a bush and making camp on the cul-de-sac.

Dubs Day 2 & 3

As I write this, I am sitting in a reading room in my B&B surrounded by animal heads and Jesus statues/paintings on decorative plates. The ambiance is heavy.

When I booked my first hostel, the woman accidentally double booked my room and notified me that she would not be holding my reservation as she gave it to someone else. That was the end of the email. She sent this the day before I was to arrive in Dublin. After some raging forceful intense interactions, she found me another B&B to stay at for 2 nights and upgraded my room at her place without charging me the difference.

At first I was bummed, having to repack all of my things and relocate to a further out area, however my new room is totally rad.
Things that make it awesome:
1. wood panelling - not just on certain walls, but the ceiling as well. I feel like I could go out and shoot a deer if I wanted to, which is what I am sure other people felt and is why the reading room is filled with heads.  #rustic
2. an ensuite bathroom - I've showered twice today because I can. We'll see what the next couple of hours brings me, maybe a third is in order.
3. curtains that blot out the sun to an extreme. My circadian rhythms are now completely in line and I am achieving higher melatonin production that I have in the last 5 years.
4. a comfy bed - the last B&B had a bed made from stuffing sharp metal objects and earth into its lining. My shoulder still hurts if I raise my arm above a 35 degree angle, not ideal.
5. A glorious backyard filled with greenery, flowers, and a flowing river - I am rocked to sleep each night by the wind through the trees and the waves on the pebbles. People pay A LOT for this scene and I'm lucky I didn't have to.

The move was somewhat seamless and before long I was on the streets of Dublin searching out historic landmarks. The only negative thing I will say about Ireland, and maybe it's just Dublin in particular, but it is as if everyone in Croydon decided to move to their own island and multiply at a very young age. If you aren't sure of the Croydon reference, google search chav, or even teenage pregnancy styles. The women look like leather bags and the men smell of booze, even the respectable-looking ones. If you are looking for love, and enjoy a matching crushed velvet Adidas tracksuit, you are in luck! There are no PS I Love You men in Dublin, probably because they have all moved to New York to be with the Hilary Swanks of the world.

Now, I brought this up because I brought a significant number of skirts on this trip, however the city is quite windy. I feel though, that this has been beneficial, as it has been my bottom flashing that has allowed me to melt into the culture without a hitch. Someone even asked me for directions to the castle today. I am pretty sure I led them the right way...

In Day 2, I toured St. Paul's Cathedral, Christ Church Cathedral, Dublin Castle, Trinity College and saw the Book of Kells. The Book of Kells was a surprise to me, as my flatmates and I tried to watch the animated movie of the same title last weekend but found the storyline a little lacking. We probably stuck it out to the halfway mark because we thought the animation was so beautiful, and the art design was completely unique. Who knew it was based on a real book, which is famous for it's art design and technique? If you did, pretend I knew as well and just glaze over the last few sentences.

Day 2 also ended/merged into Day 3 when Lexy messaged me to meet up for a few drinks. All night we kept asking each other, why haven't we bee drunk together before? It was one of the best bonding nights I've had in my life consisting of just ridiculous occurrences and unbelievable stories to forever reference in our friendship storyline. Although the men were creeps, our friend alcohol made us have a great time dancing and befriending some of the locals and fighting off the others.

What was not expected or welcomed was the morning after. When staying in a B&B, it's considered rude if you don't turn up to your breakfast, especially when you give the host your expected breakfast time. This meant that although I did not have much sleep, I had to roll out of bed to force down a greasy fry up. My stomach was already turning when my breakfast was served with a big black hair on top of the egg. Appalled that it was still being served to me, I queasily looked up at the woman for her to react. As she maintained eye contact, she simply plucked the hair off and walked away. Nothing quite screams bon appetite like a big black hair nestling into your meal and having someone's lumberjack hand punch the top of your over easy. MMMMmmmmm.

To say the least, today has not been a very adventurous or jam-packed day, but I did spend my time wandering the streets and seeing the National Art Gallery. Amidst all the paintings, I was fortunate enough to be surprised to find a piece by my very favourite artist Caravaggio. Normally a gallery would advertise having one of his pieces in their brochure or map as a gallery highlight, so when I surprise spotted it across the room I made a slight shriek to the pleasant (not) surprise of the old wrinklies around me. If you ever want to have your breath taken away by a painting, study a Caravaggio. His skill will make you realise you have absolutely no talent in your being and it is lucky that we even get to look at his.

Other than that, I am ready to return to my cottagey room as I think the deer's eyes keep following my gaze and I swear I saw Jesus just give me a once-over. Tomorrow I will be checking out of the B&B to move over to Lexy's place for the remainder of my journey. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Wood panelled ceiling. Pure class.







Local Ryan Gosling. No big deal.

 The Taking of Christ.

 Atmosphere.

Dublin Day 1

Well...I'm in Dublin. Before I got here, there were some things to note.

1. I had to make a pilgrimage to Southend Airport. Correction - London Southend Airport. When I read this name when booking my plane ticket, all I saw was smaller numbers after the £ sign. And since the name LONDON was in front of it, I also foolishly thought this meant it was near by. It's not. Luckily summer holidays means I have nothing but t.i.m.e. The journey was also pretty simple, which I will give it to TFL this time because normally they are absolute rubbish. This will now bring our score to Katie -  3986 & TFL - 2. The other point TFL got was two years ago and was also a fluke.
2. Southend Airport is run by maaaaaaybe....I want to say....6 people. They didn't open the check-in desk until an hour before take off and after the 12 people on my flight checked in, the people behind the counter shut down and moved with us to the security point. I am also pretty sure I saw "Betty" get on board the flight with us and hand out duty free mags.
3. It looks like there are only 2 boarding gates, but in actuality there are 3. Be careful, there is no posting which gate you are to go to, only a 5 second audio announcement that can easily be missed if you are wearing headphones, like almost everyone on my flight. Lucky for my group, I was trying to navigate their impossible wifi system and had not yet been able to play Katy Perry's latest song through youtube for the millionth time.
4. On the plane, I sat in the "emergency exit zone." This meant on this plane (run by Aer Lingus, there's a joke in there somewhere) I had to learn HOW to use the emergency exit as everyone on the plane was dependent on me opening the door. Yes, I had to stand up with the flight attendant and practice opening the side door. I went along with it but there was no way in hell I was going to open that door for anyone on board in an emergency. Name me a circumstance when I would have to do that? I'm betting I would already be dead, or even better, force someone else to potentially be sucked through the gaping hole while the cabin attempts to equalise pressure.
5. I landed all sunshine and rainbows, excited to be off on my next adventure. No one else in Dublin is sunshine and anything. Really, it's a miracle I didn't get punched in the face the first time I asked for directions. Fortunately, I can read a map and I will state again, I have nothing but time. Sure my journey to the B&B was probably scenic and some might say drawn out, but I made it.
6. Lastly, every tour in Dublin wants to take you to where they filmed PS I Love You. This might give you the idea to rewatch PS I Love You. Alone. At night. While travelling alone. On your own. With no  one around but you. Don't do this. I might be charged extra for the number of tissues/toilet paper rolls I went through. It's also hard to sleep when you think you might be alone forever and even if you do meet the right person, they might just die and leave you a bunch of notes to reallllly rub it in that you will never see them again.

So I am off to the next adventure today with puffy eyes and raw emotions. Walking around the city and making friends as usual...
Check in tonight!