The Marriage Fallacy

There comes a time in a woman's life where they start to feel their biological clock ticking. They start to wonder how it will ever be possible to start a family if they have already reached this age bracket and are still single.

This is not me.

I mean sure, I would love to have children... in fact it happens to be a very high priority in my life. This, however, does not mean I want to marry any man who I go on a date with. In fact, a higher priority in my life is meeting a great partner. Not some idiot who happens to take me to drinks and has never heard of Seinfeld.

From personal experience and the stories of my friends, I have began to notice a pattern. A group of commitment-phobe men that think all women our age want to do, is trap them into a long-term relationship. The break up excuse of "I just can't see myself getting married/settling down now" or "I think you're amazing but not the one" comes out a mere couple dates in.

Well. Let me tell you something.

Maybe I never imagined marrying you. Maybe I wanted to have a few laughs then say see you never. It had actually never even entered my mind to develop a long-term anything with you. Just because the early beginnings of laugh lines on my face might indicate I want to settle down...I never thought about doing that with you.

I take personal offence to the "I don't think I'm ready to get married" with it's shotgun eagerness. To me it paints a picture of women as clinging and pathetic, and who want nothing more than to beg someone to marry her. What happened to the fun? Who mentioned marriage?!

Now if you hadn't been so eager to give me the "no marriage" line, maybe I would have been able to deliver my break up lines...and boy they're a doozy.

I'm not ready to settle down with you because...
- you don't have a career
- you vomit after a heavy night of drinking
- you have more toys in your room than the children I teach
- you're not funny
- your parents are weird
- you can't spell

These are some of the reasons maybe I don't want to commit to you, 21st century man. Don't be so vain as to think the moment I say good night, I'm dreaming of your last name next to mine. More likely I'm thinking about what I'm going to watch when I get home or how you thought bringing your head closer to your plate was the appropriate way to eat pasta.

Your move chief.