Normally, I plan something BIG and deadly exciting to do. This summer, I decided to take it easy. I am getting to the age where doing nothing is seen as sloth or a waste because only kids read Nancy Drews until swim time, then look forward to a Indiana Jones marathon because it's the only channel your cottage gets. However, I declare this summer, the summer of spontaneous trips/jokes/lifestyle choices.
Until very recently (and not by my own choice), my future plans were thrown out the window and I was at a loss. From an early age, I always had an idea of where my life was headed and what I was going to do (mentioned in previous life rants). Even though, looking back, my plans seemed fantastical or unrealistic, I still projected where I would be. I felt safe in the 5 year plan. I knew what I wanted and I tried to work for it. However, then life got me. Some a**hole (Woody Allen) once said "If you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans." Well, thanks for giving god the punchline and jinxing the rest of us to misery. My plans were irrevocably altered with no hope of ever regaining them. Some people might find this terrifying, as I did at first, but if embraced (with the help of your family/friends) it is a very liberating feeling. This was the first time in my life where not having a plan actually seemed ok. See, I am not a very "go-with-the-flow" kind of person. My mother would disagree because I had to tell her weeks in advance if I wanted a friend to stay over - not that there's anything wrong or weird about that - but my family likes to plan. If I waited on a Saturday night to decide what I was going to do, that drove her nuts. "What do you mean, you're not sure where you're going? Don't you WANT to do something?" As a teenager, I was a very close reflection of my mother in regards to plans, and this in turn stressed my free-flowing friends out.
Three people changed my life.
Alison - late for everything, last minute planner and thank god! She taught me the value of living in the now and if I wanted to do something so badly, to organise it myself. I, never wanting to organise, HAD to go with the flow. Making me much more willing to do anything with the right people. She also began to teach me this - it didn't matter WHAT we did, if we were all together, we would laugh.
Amie - In university, this girl would call me up on a Saturday morning and say "I haven't seen the Jays play in a while...wanna road trip?" This wasn't for next week - it was for that afternoon. We didn't have tickets, we didn't have a place to stay, we essentially had nothing but we did it AND somehow we always pulled it off. Her ideas of trips often involved her car, even though she HATED driving it on the highway, myself and Alex, and one or more of the sigma chis. This summer I am referring to, will go down as one of the best in my life, only rivalled by the one I am having now.
M. McBride - Up until now, only little plans or small trips were left loose but McBride, now she was different. She was the queen of life flexibility and she completely changed my outlook. I met her in teacher's college and I remember hearing her talk about her travels and her complete openness to uprooting her life to have an adventure. Me "So you don't know WHERE you want to teach?" M "Wherever I find a job." This idea of being completely free, called to wherever you could work was unprecedented in my life. I know my parents wanted me to travel, but the idea of starting anywhere and doing it on my own, was a complete paradigm shift. If she could do it, could I? She is the reason I moved to England and the same reason why I might move anywhere in a year for my next job.
I lost focus here a bit.
This summer has been completely up in the air and even though you might tally up all that I've done (which isn't much) I feel it is one of my best yet. When your life goes through a thorough upheaval, you need to find yourself again. How often do you hang out with yourself? How often do you enjoy your OWN company? I can think of 4 times in my entire life where I remember having a blast with only myself...well that does seem slightly crazy when reading it. I don't mean telling a joke to yourself or acting out Macbeth in your pyjamas with your stuffed animals but just going on an adventure - big or small - and experiencing something.
I might sleep in some days until 2 and go to art galleries for 8 hours but it's on my schedule and it's only things I want to do. Sure, I might go to Hungary next week for a bit, who knows? I could dance in my underwear to Tegan and Sara all day if the mood calls. All I need is a summer soundtrack, instagram, and my family on speed dial and life will be just fine great.
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