The day nothing was accomplished

Wednesday was THE most outrageous day I have had in a long time.

All morning we debated whether we should go on this bus tour of the Amalfi Coast which is described by many trip reviewers as, "a white-knuckle ride where you take your lives in the hands of the driver." Why were we debating this? Well because it was raining of course. However, once we had breakfast and got ready for the day (9 am), the sun was shining and the weather had turned around. I had on my Ugg boots and asked Sean if I should wear them. Direct quote for response, "I wouldn't if I were you, ugh, your feet won't get cold, wear something else." I wore flip flops.

As we get to the bus, it is packed. We have to stand and the next stop is 45 minutes away. It is hot, stuffy, and the woman sitting beside me says, "oh no I am not feeling well, it's too hot," and starts disrobing...even untying her shoelaces to slip her heels out of her hiking boots. Small side note, last week I was on a packed train with Em back to Putney and was fully vomited on by a small child. All down my legs and shoes, I was covered in purple chunks. I was not looking forward to repeating the experience.
At this moment it begins to pour rain. Everyone closes their windows and the bus becomes a muggy brew of sweat and condensation. This is also the point of the trip where we begin to enter the death gamble, which means the bus has to honk around every corner so we don't hit oncoming traffic, and we scrape against the guard rails keeping us from tumbling down the cliff. I will upload a video when I get back home, of the side door, which literally swung open everytime the bus took a curved left turn. A man switched spots with a young lady so she didn't fly out of the bus when this happened. It was terrifying, and I am standing.

After the first few stops, I was able to sit with Mom, while Sean stood the whole trip. The whole journey was an hour and a half. Once my feet hit solid ground again, it began to pour even harder, drenching my bare, flip-flop covered feet in ice-cold water, and soaking through my Spring jacket. We had to catch another bus to go further up the coast to Ravello. We just missed the second bus, so we had to kill time before the next one. We zipped through a church, then mom HAD to use the bathroom. I was not filled in on the plans, so all I see is Mom and Sean dart into a slum and Mom rushes to the bathroom. Sean proceeds to order a latte from THE most ridiculous cafe ever. My comment was that we are in a beautiful town, filled with elegant coffee shops, yet my parents pick what can only be compared to the Transfers Restaurant in the downtown Kitchener bus station. Naked pictures of women above the bar, plastic tables you have to stand around (no chairs), and locals who look like they lost the lottery of life.

Finally we board another bus, while I continue to shiver to myself in my cold-soaked clothes. We arrive in Ravello minutes too late, as everything closes at 3pm. It is still pouring rain and no restaurants are open again until 7. Again we hit another Transfers-like cafe but now we are surrounded by German tourists who are none too friendly or polite. We are there long enough to stuff something into our mouths before wandering the streets, looking for anything to do. The church we wanted to see was also just closed for the afternoon, so we had to venture into a crypt. By this point my toes were like icicles and I had lost all feeling from the ankles down. Don't know if you know this but crypts tend to be chilly. Who knew? Also, crypts tend to be small. So after about five minutes of exploring, we were done for the day. Yes a two and a half hour journey ends after thirty minutes.

We head back to the bus shelter to check bus times and one is to arrive in two minutes. It never shows...
At this point an aggressive taxi driver keeps approaching us asking to take us and three other French hikers down the hill for five euros each. At this point, we weren't having it, especially mom and I. Sean continues to be polite and all vacant smiles, but I am beyond rage. Five euros isn't a bad price, but we had an unlimited bus pass for the day, I am so cold I just want to get on the bus which is a sure thing, and just looking at the other tourists I begin to feel ill. They are decked out in full hiking attire with a ski pole in each hand, yet they are old enough to have been featured in the crypt we just visited. Their bodies are showing sure signs of decay and all of their noses are visibly running. We vehemently refuse the taxi man and he follows us along the railings of the cliffs. I can hear the French calling us cheap Americans in their mother tongue, and mom and I are snapping at the man. Eventually he backs off and one of the hikers pulls out an old pair of socks and puts them on his hands because he is so cold. Disgust.

The bus came an hour later. First, a bus arrived at the 45 minute mark and we all ran to it like zombies in for the kill. The hikers (who were really hard to fit into a category; on one hand they looked like they would be travel savvy with their poles, ponchos, and other gear, but on the other, they wore socks for gloves) ran behind the bus, even as it was backing up to turn around, nearly killing the lot of them. The driver opened the door and said "no cinque cinque." By now about 15 of us were waiting for this mystery bus and you could audibly hear our hearts all breaking as it drove off. The taxi man continued to  badger us about the drive and how silly we were being for waiting for the bus.

Finally, our bus arrived and we pushed our way on. The hikers who were the most pushy somehow managed to be the last ones on and almost didn't get seats. I am not sure how that was possible, as they were pushing near the front of the line but maybe the collective hate the group felt for them, united us and we managed to stay strong enough to keep them aside.

We set off for the long journey back and by the time we pulled back into Sorrento, my toes were beginning to defrost. I wore Uggs the rest of the night.

What did we accomplish during this day? Here is a hypothetical conversation I will be having with someone who has visited the Amalfi Coast and Ravello:
Person: "So you went on the trip to the Amalfi Coast, did you see how scary the cliffs were?"
Me: "Well no, I had to stand and couldn't really see the windows then it rained so all the glass fogged up."
P: "Oh, that's too bad. So when you got to Amalfi did you eat at _________ the most famous dining place in the area?"
M: "Yaaaaaa... no, my mom really had to use the bathroom, so we stopped and had lattes in Transfers."
P: "Hmmm, well in Ravello did you see Duomo?"
M: "Well the funny thing is, we arrived after THREE when everything was closed! Ha!"
P: "...how about eating at the Vittoria Pizzeria? It's the best -"
M: "NO! We didn't eat there, we explored a crypt and after 30 minutes we went back to the bus stop to wait for an hour!"
P: "Hmmm that's a shame, you should really go back some day to see all that stuff"

Amalfi Coast/Ravello - 1, Thomas family - 0