...
I remember fighting with Brenda (my stepmum) as a bratty, resistant teen - and ashamedly into my early twenties as well. Seeing women come and go in my father's life, I couldn't be bothered to get to know her. I was hard, callous and just plain difficult. I would test my luck and push the boundaries. However, I was met with a worthy adversary.
Unlike others, she didn't get down to my level and push back. She was kind, thoughtful, funny and down to earth but also a fierce matriarch. She didn't take any shit from my dad and or myself. She set the example of how we should treat each other in our family and showed real strength; raising a son of her own, on her own. She knew she could make it alone with him again and we knew that if we didn't sort our lives out, she would. It was powerful to see. She was also one of the first women my mother liked as well (which was a nearly impossible feat).
Over time I saw my father soften and change. Become someone I didn't know he could, and grow into a better person. Some might say it just came with age, but I know the difference. She was unwavering in her strength and ability to keep people in line. I have endless respect for her.
Kindness is a hard trait to master, especially toward someone else's daughter, but I know she is only a phone call away and her advice is always sound. For years the only thing that made me believe in soulmates was the love both my biological parents found in their current partners. And perhaps it is these two examples that led me to finding my own as well.
I'm glad I overcame my stubborn, spoiled behaviour, as I have tapped into a wealth of knowledge, love and support I didn't know was there.
Happy birthday Brenda, and thank you. X
